American Red, White & Blue
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me alone.
2. The journey of a
thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt.
always darkest just before dawn. So if you're going to steal
your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't
5. Always remember that you're unique.
Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of
the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares
if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away
and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't
succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a
fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he
will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you
lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you
don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're
the bug; some days you're the windshield.
seems normal until you get to know them.
quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a
light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning
much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is
something you don't get until just after you need it.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under
any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the
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