sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on
the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back
of the milk carton.
check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her
wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in
"So, do you always carry your TV
remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "
but my husband refused to come shopping with me and
I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never
understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto
your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still
be afraid of a spider.
couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and
pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
the wife replied, "in-laws."
O R D S
husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have
to repeat everything to men..."
husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
A man said to
his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
responded, "Allow me to explain.
made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God
made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
man and his wife were having an argument about who should
brew the coffee each morning.
wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around
here and you should do it, because that is your job, and
I can just wait for my coffee."
replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is
in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed
man and his wife were having some problems at home and
were giving each other the silent treatment.
the man realized that the next day,
he would need his
wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business
Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE),
wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at
left it where he knew she would find it.
next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was
about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
may have created man before woman,
but there is always
a rough draft before the masterpiece