WOMAN'S
PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's
sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her
son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter
is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on
the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back
of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S
REVENGE
"Cash,
check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her
wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in
her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV
remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "
but my husband refused to come shopping with me and
I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
legally."
UNDERSTANDING
WOMEN
(A
MAN'S
PERSPECTIVE)
I
know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never
understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto
your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still
be afraid of a spider.
WIFE
VS. HUSBAND
A
couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and
pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives
of yours?"
"Yep,"
the wife replied, "in-laws."
W
O R D S
A
husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The
wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have
to repeat everything to men..."
The
husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to
his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife
responded, "Allow me to explain.
God
made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God
made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
WHO
DOES WHAT
A
man and his wife were having an argument about who should
brew the coffee each morning.
The
wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee."
The
husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around
here and you should do it, because that is your job, and
I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife
replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is
in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband
replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So
she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed
says.........
"HEBREWS"
The
Silent Treatment A
man and his wife were having some problems at home and
were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly,
the man realized that the next day, he would need his
wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business
flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE),
he
wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at
5:00 AM."
He
left it where he knew she would find it.
The
next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was
9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was
about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The
paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men
are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God
may have created man before woman, but there is always
a rough draft before the masterpiece
Help
spread
the word
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