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Patriotic
American Red, White & Blue
Christian
Soldiers
Cross
of
Jesus Necklace |
In the
beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and
populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and
spinach,
green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man
and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's
Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said,
"You want
chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and
as long as you're at
it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.
And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep
the
figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth
white
flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined
them.
And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And
Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic
toast on
the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
following
the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and
olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought
forth deep
fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its
own
platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol
went
through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it
"Angel Food
Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then
created chocolate cake
and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children
might
lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a
remote
control so Man would not have to toil changing the
channels. And
Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue
light
and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat
and
brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the
healthful
skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and
deep-fried
them. And Man gained ten pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer
calories
and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
McDonald's and
its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want
fries with
that?" And Man replied, "Yes! and super size
them!" And Satan said,
"It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then
Satan
created HMO's
Thought for the day ......There is more money being spent
on breast
implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.
This means
that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population
with impressive features and absolutely no recollection of
what to
do with them.
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