American Red, White & Blue
1. My mother taught me
TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
2. My mother taught me
"You better pray that will come out
of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me
about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten
up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
4. My mother taught me
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not
to the store with me."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you
wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and
I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't
13. My mother taught me the
CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."
mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
acting like your father!"
15. My mother
taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of
less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
wait until we get home."
17. My mother
taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to
get it when you get home!"
18. My mother
taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop
crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you
20. My mother taught me
"When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me."
mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
like your father."
23. My mother taught me
about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"
mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to; be
my age, you'll understand."
25. And my
favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like
you!" And all flesh shall see the salvation of God."'
- Luke 3:6
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