American Red, White & Blue
Why do we press harder on a
remote control when we know the batteries are getting
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient
funds" when they know there is not enough in there to
even cover the check?
Why does someone believe you
when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you
say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the
bottle it's in?
Why do they use sterilized needles for
death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest,
but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put
an "S" in the word "lisp"?
people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the
bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that
mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly
return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to
eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running
over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then
reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic
bag will open from the end on your first try?
those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say,
"It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why
don't we say, "That hurt, you idiot!"?
is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something
In winter, why do we try to keep the house
as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the
How come you never hear father-in-law
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on
sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering
from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
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